Amiga Plus 1995 #2

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Archive-name: letterman/songs/list Last-modified: Sun Feb 26 15:22:04 CST 1995 Version: 1.05 ========================================================================== The alt.fan.letterman Official David Letterman Song Book ========================================================================== Send your submissions to Aaron Barnhart (letterman@mcs.net) ========================================================================== This Song Book is available via anonymous FTP at ftp.mcs.net:/mcsnet.users/barnhart/letterman/songbook.txt ========================================================================== The David Letterman Theme Song (as sung by Bill Murray) ------------------------------------------------------- It's a late night show starring Dave, Dave Letterman, Indianapolis' own, Silly skits, music and guests, Is Bud Melman for real, hey man I don't know It's news and it's sports, It's weather reports, Tryin so hard to please you, It's good for the farmers, milkmen and snake charmers, There's even a chuckle or two, It's The Dave Letterman show, TV's crazy funny man, Where is that Marvin Albert with his bloopers, Your gonna love, love that Dave, love is Dave, Here comes Dave! The David Letterman Theme Song (as sung by Paul Shaffer) -------------------------------------------------------- Gerson Koenig explains: There was a viewer mail letter once from a guy who had a public access show and had his own lyrics for the song, which he used on said show. I can't remember any of his lyrics, but Paul came back with his own set of lyrics that went something like this: Down in Melbourne, F-L-A, Some guy named Bill(?) is ripping me off. And don't you know now, my lawyers say legally That Bill's house and car belong to me. Late Night World of Love ------------------------ There's a cool breeze blowin'. You can feel it 'cross the land. It's surfin' fun, A dad and son, A place where you can stand. And Late Night is the reason Our forefathers fought with pride. It's clear blue skies, Grandma's eyes, A feeling that's deep inside. [chorus] It's a Late Night world. It's a world that we can share. So turn on your TV And watch it with me. It's a Late Night world of love. There's a whole new generation Who are willing to say "yes." It's soups and stews, A wall of shoes, A thing called "happiness." So change the channel, change your life. It doesn't cost a thing. We're talking loud, We're standing proud, Now join us as we sing. [repeat chorus] The Viewer Mail Theme --------------------- Viewer Mail, Viewer Mail, Friday is the day we read viewer mail. First we read them, Then we answer them, That's the little thing we call Viewer Mail Lettermania (by Carl Reiner) ---------------------------- Lettermania, Lettermania, (repeat 100 times) Let your Lettermania go! Car and Truck Rental Song ------------------------- Driving the road, rent a car. Carrying a load, rent a truck. We have the latest models. Rent a car or truck from us. Yeah! ----- Yeah! (repeat as desired) Bermuda ------- Bermuda! It's a cuckoo kind of place, A nutty, nutty kind of space. Bermuda! Up With Hal Gurnee ------------------ What's up with Hal Gurnee? He is our kind of guy. So what's up with Hal Gurnee? The best friend that money can buy! GE Theme Song ------------- You can put your confidence In the brand of excellence, The household appliances That bear the name GE! The CBS Mailbag Song -------------------- Letters We get letters We get stacks and stacks of letters The Strong Guy, The Fat Guy, The Genius --------------------------------------- The Strong Guy, the Fat Guy, the Genius God gave them each a special gift at birth They break it, they eat it, they solve it That's the reason they were put upon this Earth A Lobster...he'll punch it! Some Corn...he'll munch it! The Genius...man that guy is really smart Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. Genius We thank you from the bottom of our heart The Strong Guy, the Fat Guy, the Genius God gave them each a special gift at birth They break it, they eat it, they solve it That's the reason they were put upon this Earth One's strong, one's fat, one's a genius There's nothing they don't break or eat or know Nobody's sure where they came from Nobody's sure where they might go A Drum...he'll break it! A Plum...he'll eat it! A Sum...he'll add it in his head Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. Genius You walk where weak thin dumb guys fear to tread The Strong Guy, the Fat Guy, the Genius God gave them each a special gift at birth They break it, they eat it, they solve it That's the reason they were put upon this Earth The Strong Guy, the Fat Guy, the Genius God gave them each a special gift at birth They break it, they eat it, they solve it That's the reason they were put upon this Earth He'll break...any item! Raw eggs...he'll bite 'em! No question...can stump his mighty brain Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. Genius Three rays of hope in a world thats gone insane He'll bust it...first try! Hey bunny...good bye! Reindeer? His face shows no concern Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. Genius You help expectin' nothing in return The Strong Guy, the Fat Guy, the Genius God gave them each a special gift at birth They break it, they eat it, they solve it That's the reason they were put upon this Earth That's the reason they were put upon this Earth That's the reason they were put upon this Earth! Hhhaaaaa! (Thanks Dan Best) The Turban Is Not For Sale -------------------------- "The Turban is not for sale" refers to a sketch on Late Show with David Letterman about a month ago. Our TV Pal was doing a quiz in which one of the answers was "the turban is not for sale." It wasn't particularly funny in and of itself, but Dave remarked (as I recall) that that phrase sounds like it might have come from a song somewhere. Paul chipped in, and over the next few seconds they put together the following, sung to the tune of "Three Blind Mice": The turban is not for sale The turban is not for sale How many times have I told you guys The turban is not for sale! ...and they were so excited by this that they did it numerous times throughout the show. (Thanks Will Irace and Brian Peek) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Pea-Boy Theme Song - Copyright (c) 1994 by Marvin Hamlisch -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- (Spoken) A year ago, you asked me to write a song for a special friend, who ran onto your show, and stole the hearts of people everywhere. His name...Pea-Boy, and this is his song. Gimme an A! Gimme a B! Gimme a... <whistle> (Sung) Pea-Boy, can't you see, boy, All the great news that you spread, Everyone waits, so don't hesitate, We love it when you aim right at our head! Some think you look funny, But sonny, that's simply not true! So if someone's gotta grow up, and be a pea, I don't care as long as it's, I don't care as long as it's, I'm glad that it's <oh> that it's you! (Thanks John Neuharth) Dress Cool ---------- words and music by Paul Shaffer, Will Lee, Sid McGinnis & Steve Jordan performed by The World's Most Dangerous Band Up at 8 to go downtown Special date was goin' down Had to be on time to meet Sade She was late but dressed so fine Said "I look great; you look like slime Problem's not your personality" What was I supposed to do Thought I had it made with you Can't forget those words she said to me, yeah She said Dress cool Dress cool Like your life depended on it Dress cool Dress for success Look like you really want it Dress up Dress up, go anywhere Dress down Dress down like you just don't care Let your body be your tool Dress cool Saw a picture of my grandpa You should've seen just what I saw He was rich but dressed so raggedy The cat is dead, the point is moot But if he had been wearin' that zoot suit He would surely be alive today Now I don't want to sound too rude But I do not want to be snail food I got to clean my act up right away -- hey Dress cool Dress cool like your life depended on it Dress cool Dress for success Look like you really want it Dress up Dress up, go anywhere Dress down Dress down like you just don't care Say you're from Liverpool Dress cool Wakin' up a little extra early Laying out my wardrobe in the sun Ironing out life's little lines and creases Who said making video is fun? (guitar solo) Dress cool Dress cool like your life depended on it Dress cool Dress for success Look like you really want it Dress up Dress up, go anywhere Dress down Dress down like you just don't care Let your body be your tool Dress cool (repeat) (Thanks Synth F. Oberheim aka synth@yuri.abq.nm.us) Small Town News --------------- What's my favorite segment of the David Letterman Show? It's got me all in a whirl... It's a thing called news, but not just any kind, It's Small Town News. Dumb Ads ________ Dumb Ads, These are Dumb Ads, Those koo-koo ads, Those nutty ads... (Thanks Mike Southworth) Kitties (To the tune of "Memories") ----------------------------------- Midnight, and the kitties are sleeping dowstairs by the furnace while birdies are cheeping. (thanks Bob Kupiec) Pasty White Thighs ------------------ (Dave told a joke in the monologue one night about what Americans who were surveyed would like to see the President do. The punchline was that 37% of them would like to see him "do something about those pasty white thighs of his." That led to this lounge lizard special spun by Dave and Paul.) Pasty white thighs You've got those pasty white thighs We love them so You've got those pasty white thighs Do something about those pasty white thighs And leave that deficit alone! (Next came a "New Books" segment for which Paul made up this theme:) New Books --------- [to the theme from "Bewitched"] New books New books Dave reads one every day New books New books That's all we've got to say They may be intel-lec-tu-al Or maybe good for a laugh But one thing's for sure -- Pasty white thighs !! (Later that night the Top 10 list was about the Clintons, lord knows the subject, I've forgotten, but Number 1 was changed to, "His pasty white thighs." Kind of nutty.) Dave's Neighborhood (by Marvin Hamlisch) ---------------------------------------- There is a special place in this universe Not far from all the tinsel and the glitter. That's spitting distance from Times Square If you're a real good spitter! Where can you buy a pizza pie delivered by Rockettes? Or meet a bouncer from a topless bar you won't forget? And where does Alex sell her bagels, lox and cream cheese spread? Where can you get a Xerox copy of Fern Chapnick's head? (Chorus) Where? Dave's neighborhood! <wow!> Dave's neighborhood! <gosh!> Everyone's a Broadway star in Dave's neighborhood! If you need a great tuxedo, Bart Dadon's the guy to see. For a great cup of coffee you can turn to Rupert Jee. Mr. Elo sells TVs and VCRs and he's no fool. And no one wears a suit like Mujibur and Sirajul! (repeat the chorus) By now you get the picture But in case you don't catch on We saved it for posterity upon the Jumbotron Where? Dave's neighborhood! <wow!> Dave's neighborhood! <gosh!> Doesn't matter who you are... You can be a superstar... Everyone's a Broadway star in Dave's Neighborhood! (Thanks Karen Owen and Brad Nathan) Last Song on NBC (by Paul Shaffer) ---------------------------------- Sooooooo, make it one for you, Davie And one more for that road, That long long long, cuckoo nutty long Ro-o-o-oad. (Thanks Steph at menudo.uh.edu) Supermarket Finds (by Paul Shaffer) ----------------------------------- (To the tune of "Strangers in the Night:") Supermarket finds, exchanging glances, SUPER-market fi-inds!... (thanks Tom Celentano) Hypmotized and Naked -------------------- (Yet another riff on an unexpected new phrase coined by Dave.) I'm hypnotized and naked, Down at the grocery store. I used to have some clothes on, But they ain't on no more. I'm hypnotized and naked, And you know, it's a lot of fun. I'm hypnotized and naked, And now my song is done. (Thanks Mike Southworth) You Kill Me ----------- (From the 2nd Annual Holiday Film Festival, title track to a short directed by Merrill Markoe, performed by Paul and the boys.) There I was in my everyday routine Agonizing Rationalizing There you were, looking fine as you can be Mesmerizing Nautilizing Fate interceded out of the blue You looked at me I looked back at you, back at you -chorus- Yeah! You kill me Got to do the things that thrill me I don't know why you do it How you put me through it Stop - you kill me. There we were, livin' happily I was into you You were into me Every day was sweeter than before I wanna be loved You give me more Love can be funny, sometimes you just can't see What's right for you Is just too much for me, too much for me (repeat chorus) They say that everything must change But this is such a shame Why did we let it get so- "Babe you best be chillin' Else why'd you be killin'" (instrumental break) Life goes on, no matter what you say Or what you do You know it's true After all, it's still just you and me Been around the world Nothin' left to see The verdict's in, defendant tried I find you guilty Convict you of love homicide Cut and dried Can't be denied I can't let you slide (repeat chorus) Alright You (you kill me) Yeah you (you kill me) You (ah, you kill me) Yeah you (you kill me) You (you kill me) Yeah you (let's get right on out of here, man) You (actually) Yeah you (Thanks Wayne Snell) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- This article may be freely distributed so long as the author's name, and this notice, remain intact. 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